he’s always looking at the floor and refuses to go near anyone. It’s very embarrassing.”
The marriage counselor is amused, “Anything else?”
“He keeps picking his nose all the time! Even in public!”
“Hmm, anything else?”
The wife hesitates, “Whenever we’re making love, he NEVER lets me be on top! Once in a while, I’d like to be in control!”
“Ah,” says the counselor, “I think I’ll talk to your husband now.”
So the wife goes out of the room and the husband says to the counselor, “For years I’ve been loving and considerate and I’ve always given her what she wants! What could be the problem?”
The counselor explains, “She says you’ve got these habits that are driving her crazy. First, you’re always acting strange in public—looking at the floor and never going near anyone else.”
The husband looks concerned, “Oh, you don’t understand! It’s one of the few things my father told me to do on his deathbed and I swore I’d obey everything he said.”
“What did he say?”
“He said that I should never step on anyone’s toes!”
The counselor looks amused, “Actually, that means that you should not do anything that would cause anyone else to get angry.”
The husband looks sheepish, “Oh. Okay.”
The counselor continues, “And you keep picking your nose in public.”
“Well, it’s another thing my father specifically commanded me to do! He told me to always keep my nose clean.”
The counselor smiles. “That just means you should stay out of trouble. And,” he continued, “finally, she says that you never allow her to be on top during your lovemaking.”
“This,” says the husband, “is the last thing my father commanded me to do on his deathbed, and it’s the most important thing.”
“What did he say?”
The husband replies, “With his dying breath, he said, ‘Don’t screw up.’”
